I can't loose you now
by The Darkness Knight
Summary: Set within The Warden's tale, when Sirius is almost on the verge of death after returning to Ostagar, what would happen to Ryan Cousland and how he reacts to almost loosing his trusted companion since child. Origin story for Dog companion, one shot, implied Morrigan/Cousland, former Cousland/OC


**Author's note: So this one shot is set within the universe I created through _The Cousland's Tale, _but this is also personal for me because I recently lost my own dog and since the Dog companion is loyal to your Warden no matter what, I decided to write this one shot, I hope everyone enjoys and be sure to read the actual story that ties in with this. **

**I can't lose you now**

"Move out of the way now!"

The fire was lit in the middle of the camp outside of the ruins of Ostagar, everyone turned to Zevran and Morrigan moving quickly into the camp site followed by Ryan Cousland, his armor of diligence covered in blood, his Mabari warhound Sirius being carried in his arms, a dead look on his face, brown fur coated in blood.

"What happened?" Alistair quickly ran over and walked with the young noble

"Ostagar, it was crawling in Darkspawn, we got cornered by an emissary and at least ten others plus…I found the Ogre that killed Duncan." Ryan replied grimly as he set Sirius on his blanket by the fire "Zevran confronted the emissary, Morrigan and I were handling the hurlocks…Sirius destroyed the Ogre, but he was hit from behind by an Hurlock, I charged at it, stabbing it with my sword only to hear Sirius scream out because of the emissary zapped him with a bolt of lightning, then we carried Sirius here once the bleeding stopped."

Wynne was immediately by his side, her hands raised and began to apply whatever spells she could muster up to heal the hound, Ryan could just see the breath leave his war hound's body in slow, deep repetitions, as he looked at the dog, his mind flashed back to when he was first given Sirius.

"Come on buddy, I can't lose you now." Ryan whispered

"_Come on little brother! Try to get me!" _

_At nine years of age, Ryan was eager to finally show his older brother Fergus what he was made of, his older brother standing on the other side of the makeshift arena in the back of Highever Castle with bags of sand to act as a boundary and sand to act as the battlefield, some of the soldiers who were standing guard watched in pure delight at the two heirs fighting amongst each other, others would pass on patrol for a quick glance then go back to what they were doing._

_It was tradition to see the two boys fight, usually it was them being typical brothers, other times it would be just for simple sport or training, Fergus was set to become a soldier soon and rumor of him joining King Maric in Denerim within the month, rumors of his son Cailan being groomed for the throne was on the horizon, whom Fergus had a close friendship with. _

_Young Ryan charged, the dust covering his boots and slashed his wooden sword forward in a stabbing position, only to miss Fergus by a hair, the older brother slid his foot along the ground and watched his brother fell onto his back, the sword held up to his chin "Yield." _

_Ryan pouted and threw his sword on the ground, though that wasn't without hearing clapping, both boys turning their heads to their parents Bryce and Eleanor Cousland watching them with content, young Oriana stood beside her mother, being Fergus' betrothed did have advantages, such as being able to see her future husband at the age of seventeen whenever she wanted. _

"_Stand up now pup, you can't show defeat in front of your opponent." Bryce walked down the steps toward the field_

_Ryan pouted and smacked Fergus' sword away with his and stood, brushing the dirt off of his leather armor, Bryce looked at Fergus who nodded and stepped away, going to join Oriana. _

"_Pup, do you want to be a warrior?" Bryce asked as the two stepped away from sight_

"_Of course I do father…I'm not very good at this, I won't be able to save anyone." _

_Bryce chuckled "Spoken like a true Cousland, to be honest pup, I wasn't very good at that either, but when I was younger, war with Orlais came first, training just came naturally." _

"_Then how did you do it?" _

"_I simply used my enemy's weakness against him and I made sure that the threat was always aware that I wasn't going to go down lightly." _

_Ryan nodded and looked out at the approaching lake bed, small ducks floated along the water's surface, frogs jumping from lily pad to lily pad, he always did enjoy coming out to the small garden they had._

"_Son, there will come a day when you do become a warrior and a leader, difficult decisions come naturally, but I always want you to know that no matter what, you'll never be alone." _

"_What do you mean?" Ryan asked_

"_Well, happy birthday." Bryce whistled as loud as he could_

_The sound of running echoed through his ears as a small brown dog came rushing from the arena toward the two Couslands, heading toward Ryan, the dog then leapt forward and his weight over powered the nine year old boy and sent him to the ground, the feeling of a wet tongue lashed against his face which caused him to laugh out in delight._

"_This is a Mabari, they are pure blood war hounds that were used by us during the civil war, and this one has been imprinted with you as his master. Take care of him son."_

"_I will Father!" Ryan said happily as he looked at the dog "Come on Sirius." _

"I have done all I can for him." Wynne said calmly as the bandages were wrapped around his waist

"I can't sense the taint, so the blood was obviously his." Ryan said calmly, his fingers running through the dog's fall coat

"He is an old war hound, correct me if I'm wrong but how long have you two been together?"

"Fourteen years."

"Well, I don't see them usually lasting this age, the group that bred them are members of the Circle and they don't usually last fourteen years."

"So what? Be head him right here, is that it Wynne?" Ryan growled with a feral growl

"Not at all, I'm simply saying he may not have much time left." Wynne walked away and slipped into her tent

The night was long, already it had been an hour since their return to Ostagar, Ryan could look over at Alistair who was admiring Maric's rune infused sword and shining Cailan's armor, he believed the young prince was going to use it for himself as he sat on guard duty with Leliana.

"It seems the young one has been through a lot."

Ryan looked to Sten who had bent a knee down and looked at the war hound as he slept, Ryan feared for the worst, he knew Sirius was getting older that much was clear, the constant fighting may have been getting to him, after the battle of Ostagar, he thought he would never see his favorite companion ever again.

"He has." The young Cousland stroking a small scar embedded in the dog's skin

"Sirius was a true warrior, if he dies today, he died with honor."

"Sten, he's not dead." Ryan whispered

"You don't know that, he may be dead and we just…"

"He's not dead!" He roared

Alistair and Leliana looked at him with shock, even Morrigan looked up and stood, walking over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder "Come with me." She whispered

Ryan looked at Morrigan and nodded, leaving the dog along with Sten and stood to the side "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Morrigan demanded

"Oh I don't know, trying to make sure my dog doesn't die!"

"And yelling at the over grown brute helps? He'll just kill you when he gets the chance anyway."

"You don't know that Morrigan, you don't know that at all." Ryan had conversations with Sten, both were veteran warriors and they both thrived for an end to the Blight

"Like your King and your fellow Grey Wardens, your precious pooch may be next on the causality list."

"Shut up you worthless hag." Ryan growled at her which caused Morrigan to not even flinch

"Huh, and here I thought we were being subtle."

"We were." He looked to everyone "Will you all just please, stop interjecting, go back to what you were doing and let me be with my pet in peace."

"Ryan we are." Alistair replied "We're just all thinking of what is best..."

"I know what's best for him, I have cared for him every day of my life and I will not allow anyone to tell me what it is I can and cannot do with him." Ryan barked out, even at his best friend

As everyone dispersed, Ryan sat down beside Sirius again and felt for his heart, it was beating, but he knew if that emissary killed him…he would make sure the Darkspawn paid.

"You know, you are one of the toughest people I think I've ever met."

He nodded as Alistair sat on Sirius' other side "I hate mages, I absolutely hate the whole concept of magic and the Chantry's views on it."

"And yet…you're sleeping with one." Alistair smirked

"Always a one liner huh?"

"Oh you know me, always have to lighten up the mood with a zippy one liner and a crooked smile." Alistair tried to brighten up his old friend "I had a Mabari once…well I didn't Arl Eamon did."

Ryan looked at him "Yup, the old boy was doing great, born immediately after the war, some say he and Cailan were brothers. Before he was shipped off to Cailan to be his attack dog, I remember playing with him in the hallways outside of the bedrooms, I used to just have him chase me, well by that point Isolde was seeing a bit too much of Eamon and she yelled, oh boy did she yell at me for possibly breaking priceless heirlooms to the family name. Well Eamon wouldn't let Isolde get away with it, so he was shipped off to Cailan early and when I awoke the next morning, I was heartbroken, I thought the old man had died, but Eamon explained it was just time, that we had to be careful." Alistair looked at Ryan "What I'm saying is that that dog had another good six years before he died at Ostagar, don't give up on Sirius just yet, he might surprise you."

Ryan nodded "Thanks old friend. I appreciate it."

"That's what I'm here for, anyway, I best be getting back."

"_Ryan, is that you kissing me?"_

"_Uh…what?"_

_Elise Montsimmard shrieked out when Sirius licked her face multiple times which caused Ryan to burst out in laughter and nearly fell out of the bed._

"_You find this funny?" _

"_Oh sweetheart, just be thankful he's opening up to you, it took Oren five years to gain Sirius' trust." He gently started to rise up from his bed as Sirius ran over and scratched his head_

"_Why do you have those? In Orlais, we have simpler pets like a cat or a normal dog, not a war hound." Elise said gently as she flipped her brownish red hair onto her shoulder_

"_Hey, he means well, he's just a bit wild." Ryan smiled_

"_Well, when we get married, he'll be up for debate."_

"_No he won't." He frowned "I will not have my war hound put down or die from depression because I have to give him up for a stupid marriage."_

"_Oh so now us being together is stupid?"_

"_No, Elise, listen, I'm going to not debate about him, and he goes where I go, I won't abandon him, and he won't abandon me." _

_She sighed as Sirius approached again, looking at her with his big black eyes "Oh don't give me that look."_

_He whimpered and rolled onto his back, this caused Elise to smile and scratched his belly "Okay, he is pretty cute." _

He could hardly let his mind wander to Elise Montsimmard without feeling some form of guilt, the woman was in Orlais crying her eyes out because of his death…or betrayal to King Cailan for that matter, but he was sleeping soundly until a gentle lick on his hand woke him from his slumber "Morrigan…I swear to the Maker you won't like what I'll have planned if you're doing what I…."

He looked up to Sirius standing over him, licking his face viciously with multiple kisses going to each cheek, Ryan grinned and his eyes went wide "Sirius! You're okay!" He scratched the back of his neck and his head viciously like he liked it

Everyone looked up to the pair of them playing and Ryan getting attacked "Okay boy okay okay!"

Sirius ran around chasing his tail as Ryan stood up "I knew I wouldn't lose you buddy."

The Mabari war hound gave out a bark of approval, he was here to stay.


End file.
